Breastfeeding: What I wish I’d known then
This post is part of the October Carnival of Breastfeeding, with the topic ‘what I wish I’d known’ – scroll to the bottom for more great posts laden with lessons learned the hard way! Image courtesy of Paula O’Hara Photography.
Wow. 22 hours of labour and an emergency c-section later, there I was, breastfeeding. Easy, I thought, this kid knows what he’s doing, right? Wrong! I wish I’d known that breastfeeding was something me and my baby would both have to learn.
Oh dear God, the pain. Are my nipples actually on fire? No, it’s just the baby latching on. If I just sit here and grit my teeth maybe I can push through. Big mistake! I wish I’d known that a good latch really IS the most important part of breastfeeding.
This kid is starving. I think I can actually see him wasting away before my very eyes. I’ve fed him over and over again but he’s still rooting, screaming, desperate to nurse. Maybe I don’t have enough milk; maybe it’s not good enough? I wish I’d known that growth spurts are a necessary part of breastfeeding, that they DO pass and that if you just keep feeding, the milk will come!
I’ve not had a decent night’s sleep in months. Still feeding every 2-3 hours. People tell me the baby goes to bed too early, needs some solid food or is just ‘comfort sucking’. I’m tired but feeding in the night still feels right; should I listen to them? I wish I’d learned to trust my mothering instincts sooner.
Jeez. It’s been six whole months. We’re weaning now, it’s fun. But I love, love, love breastfeeding; the closeness, the satisfaction of those chubby thighs and rounded cheeks, the sense of achievement. I wish I’d known right from the start that one day it would feel this good.
One year. A party, presents – a nasty bout of tonsillitis and an unexpected refusal to nurse. I planned on stopping gently, to make it easier on us both. Now it’s over and I feel lost, in need of a new way to connect with this amazing being I have created, nourished all this time. I wish I’d known how quickly time would fly.
Massachussetts Friends of Midwives: What I wish I’d know back then about breastfeeding
Lucy & Ethel Have a Baby: If I’d Known Then
Momma’s Angel: My list for next time
Breastfeeding Moms Unite: You don’t have to grin and bear it
Birth Activist: What I wish I would have known about breastfeeding
Three Girl Pile Up: Four things I wish I’d known about breastfeeding
Happy Bambino: I wish I’d known…that it wasn’t up to me alone
Edenwild: What I wish I’d known then – a poem
Hobomama: AP principle #2: What I wish I’d known…
The Milk Mama: When breastfeeding begins badly (and what I should have done about it)
Fancy Pancakes: Breastfeeding – wish I’d heard more good things!
Breastfeeding Mums: 15 facts I wish I’d known as a first time breastfeeding mum
Cave Mother: Nursing Wisdom
Blisstree: Trust Yourself and your body
Blacktating: Breastfeeding is life-changing
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Oh, it’s over! I could cry. I sort of wish you’d written more about that, how it feels to be done. How do you get that intimate connection after nursing is over… or is them growing up a series of these little distancings? (Ok distancings IS a word, or I’m making it one.)
Thanks for this well-written post. We had a little trouble latching too, and we had the non-stop feeding during growth spurts (and even NOT during growth spurts)- both were lessons I had to learn.
Oh, and I’m learning that I should probably not tell people that my 7 mo old baby still wakes me up several times a night to nurse (or does he wake, and just nurse to go back to sleep? I don’t know!)- because I don’t feel like hearing people tell me that he doesn’t need to eat at night. What do they know about my baby? Nothing!
And why work my tail off to keep my baby away from me at night, when like you said, it’s all over too soon anyway?
Very sweet post. I’d be heartbroken if mine just one day refused to nurse, especially that soon. (Funny how to some of us one year is early, and to others it is a long time!)
And you are so right about trusting your motherly instincts. Could there be any better guide to caring for our children?
Hi Lisa – thanks! I was heartbroken – I had planned on stopping after a year but I wanted to do it on my terms. I don’t doubt that the nursing strike could have been resolved if I’d persevered but I didn’t see the point in coaxing him back to the breast just so I could stop the way I wanted to. Next time I think I would nurse for longer
Hey Fancy!
Thanks for your lovely comments; I guess all breastfeeding mums face the same ‘advice’ from people who think they are helping when in fact they are definitely not! But you’re right, the thing to do is just RELAX, and learn as you go – your instincts will never lead you far wrong. And if you’re interested, you can read a little more about when we stopped and how I coped here http://www.mumunplugged.com/2009/05/09/the-end/ and here http://www.mumunplugged.com/2009/05/25/reasons-to-be-cheerful/. Thanks again!
This is beautiful. I had the same reaction as FancyPancakes. it’s sad that it had to end as it did. I haven’t come to this stage yet with my son, and it’s hard to imagine our relationship without nursing. Now I’m off to follow your link about your weaning/coping experience…
Aw thanks Christina
I was upset and a bit tearful for quite a while after we stopped. Bubs is a very active toddler now and I sometimes miss the ’stillness’ of breastfeeding – it would be nice to just be able to stare at him the way I used to! But now we have a more reciprocal kind of affection; I can’t tell you how good it feels when he asks for a cuddle or just climbs on my lap to relax for a while!