Furbaby, meet baby.

Before we had Bubs, back in the day when an early start was 9am and my time was mine for the wasting, we decided to adopt two babies.  Not the pink, wriggly, human kind; the furry, Andrex puppy kind.  Two Labradors to be precise.  I lavished them with my hitherto untapped resources of maternal love – the eldest even shared our bed, ate from our plates and embarrassingly, was carried about wrapped in a pink fleece blanket for the first few weeks of her life with us.  They were my babies and until I got pregnant I was convinced nothing would ever change the way I felt about them.

When Bubs was born, the ‘furbabies’ unfortunately took something of a back seat; no more lazing on the sofas for these two pampered pooches.  As I tried to keep my house clean and my new baby un-pawed and un-chewed, the dogs were required to spend most of their time outside with only a perfunctory daily walk and a few too many pig’s ears to keep them from trashing the garden in boredom.

Now, though, as Bubs has grown bigger and summer has arrived, I’m pleased to say that the canines are becoming less sidelined.  Bubs is really rather fond of ‘Baba’ (Amber) and ‘Seedy’ (Sadie) and gets excited at the mere mention of a trip to the garden to play with them, and we all enjoy walks by the river with the stroller.  Of course it helps that Amber shares his obsession with the ‘baw’ (ball) and that Bubs in return is more than happy to share his food with the dogs, whether feeding them from his hands or letting them lick it off his jeans!

The other day I remarked on how glad I am that we had the dogs first and the baby afterwards, that Bubs is now growing up with two (mostly) well behaved dogs around and that he is learning from an early age the appropriate way to handle them.  I firmly believe that there are advantages for children who grow up with animals – it’s reported to boost their immune system, for example, teaches them valuable lessons about responsibility and well, they’re kinda fun to have around!

That said though, while pregnant I was given lots of well-meant advice about how I would have to ‘get rid of’ the dogs when the baby arrived; how they were dirty and potentially dangerous and time consuming and basically not compatible with having a small child in the house.  All of which, I suspect, might have been true if we’d approached it in the wrong way.  Instead, we have two dogs that appear to have survived the trauma of playing second fiddle to a new baby, and a toddler who is already learning to order our large and rather boisterous dogs around – which is hilarious to watch.  So I have some tips for those pregnant and worried about how the dog-baby dynamic will work…and it goes a little something like this:

1. Change the boundaries early.

If you want to stop behaviour like jumping up, sitting on furniture or sleeping in your bed, do it as soon as you find out you’re pregnant.  As I was planning to breastfeed, I decided to impose a ‘no dogs on the couch’ rule and putting this in place early on gave the dogs time to get the message.  It also meant they didn’t see the baby as having usurped their position on the sofa, avoiding jealousy.  Likewise, if your house dog will be spending more time outside when the baby is born, gradually build this up during your pregnancy – don’t let him curl up at your feet every night for nine months and then suddenly banish him to the garden.

2.  Work on basic commands like sit, stay and leave.

You need to be able to restrain your dog with verbal commands so you can control him while you’re holding the baby, and also to prevent him from picking things up if you drop them – soothers, muslins etc.  Also, if you can train your dog to walk to heel on a loose lead, you will be able to safely include him in the many walks you will undoubtedly be taking with your new baby in the pram.

3. Start with smell.

When the baby is born, get your partner to bring a blanket or small toy with the baby’s scent on it home from the hospital.  He should calmly allow the dog to sniff the object (but not to lick, bite or chew it) and to praise him as he does so, so the dog becomes familiar with the baby’s smell and associates it with good things happening!

4. Investigating is OK.

When the baby comes home, try not to exclude the dog.  He will naturally want to investigate that strange, squirmy creature in the car seat and it’s OK to let him do this so long as he doesn’t nudge, lick etc.  Let him have a quick sniff, praise him and don’t make a huge fuss – try to keep things positive so the dog feels good about the baby being around.  Keep your dog’s routine as normal as you can; feed him at the usual times etc. to avoid any unnecessary upheaval.

5.  Desensitise your dog.

Practice taking his food bowl away while he is eating to make sure he won’t react.  Make sure he is comfortable being touched all over and get him used to having his ears and tail gently pulled, his skin pinched and his fur tweaked.  Older babies and toddlers will want to explore every square inch of their fuzzy friends and it’s crucial that your dog will allow this without growling or snapping.

6. Teach boundaries on both sides.

Let your dog know it’s not OK to lick the baby’s face, bark or be boisterous when the baby is around.  Make sure he knows that the baby’s toys are not for him to play with – he can easily tell by scent which ones are his.  Teach your child that it’s not OK to poke the dog in the eye or smack him.  At a year old Bubs can already tell our dogs ‘no’ and ’sit’ – so it’s never too early to start training!

7.  Create ‘dog space’.

Invest in a dog gate (like a baby stair gate but taller) so you can confine your dog to one room without shutting him away completely.  We fitted one in the doorway between our kitchen and utility room so the dogs can see us when Bubs is eating or playing, but they can’t get in.  A dog crate can also be a good idea, especially for puppies or older dogs that might want some respite from a keen-to-play toddler!

8.  Relax and enjoy!

Dogs and kids can be hard work – but in my book life’s too short to fret over every stray hair and muddy paw print.  There have been loads of times when I’ve said I wished I’d had a baby years ago instead of getting puppies but when I watch Bubs throwing a ball for Amber or laughing as Sadie licks his fingers, I know we’ve given him two of the best friends he’ll ever have

Here are some resources that might come in useful:

Cesar Millan – ‘The Dog Whisperer’ – I’m addicted to his TV show and have used many of his techniques with great success.
The Kennel Club
Safe Kids
Safer Pets – if you’re thinking of getting a dog but aren’t sure which breed
Purina