ready, steady, stop.

With Bubs’ first birthday fast approaching, it’s dawned on me that I have now been breastfeeding for almost a whole year. According to many people that makes me a bona fide, card-carrying weirdo; but for me it is a rather proud achievement and one I never thought I would make. When I was pregnant I said I would try to feed for three months, and when Bubs was born the only way I could carry on through the horrors of cracked nipples and extreme sleep deprivation was to take it one day at a time. But those days turned into weeks, the weeks into months and suddenly, here I am. Back then I couldn’t imagine a time when the feeding would become just another part of life, but it has. And even though I have decided to stop feeding once Bubs is one, I know that on a practical level I could carry on feeding him for much longer. Emotionally, giving up will be bittersweet – it will be nice to share bedtime duties with the hubber, I can go back to my yoga classes and I even have a night away to look forward to! But I know I will feel sad when we have the last ever feed. Even more so than the birthday itself I feel it will be a milestone marking Bubs’ transition from my tiny, dependent infant into a toddler. I will miss that special time when I have him all to myself and I will miss feeling like I am contributing in a very real way to his health and development. Mostly I will miss the only 10 minutes, twice a day, when he lies still so I can just stare at him and drink in every eyelash, every detail of his perfect wee face. I also wonder if the dynamics of our relationship will change – will he need me less? Will I still be his number one comfort, the only person he wants to be with when he is tired or hurt or unwell? I hope so.
Reflecting back on a year of breastfeeding got me thinking about some things I wish I’d known at the start. I spent so much time stressing about the right way to do things and whether our experiences were ‘normal’ – but now I know that when it comes to babies, there’s no such thing!

So, for future reference, here are my top five things to remember about breastfeeding:
1. The first six weeks are the worst. If you really want to succeed, just batten down the hatches and hang on in there.
2. Forget about feeding patterns. If the baby seems hungry again after half an hour, just feed it!
3. Stop stressing about length of feeds and fore vs. hind milk. Feed on demand and you can’t go wrong.
4. Ignore anybody who tells you the baby isn’t getting enough and needs ‘a wee spoon feed’.
5. You are NOT running out of milk, it’s another growth spurt. Feed, feed, feed!

The nightmarish early days of breastfeeding are already beginning to fade into memory for me but I hope that next time around I won’t have forgotten all the lessons it’s taken me a year to learn. I certainly won’t forget what a wonderful rollercoaster this past year has been!