looking back, thinking ahead

New Year is a funny old time. I’ve long since got over the desire to hit the town and have people trampling all over me and spilling drinks down my back just to experience that often contrived and always anticlimactic midnight moment. But try as I might to ignore the turn of the year, I can’t help reflecting on what the previous 12 months has thrown my way and what might lie ahead in the ones to come.
This time last year I was pregnant for the first time and overwhelmed with excitement about impending motherhood. I frantically scoured the sales for good deals on baby clothes and equipment – most of which was never worn or used – and couldn’t believe that ‘this year’ was be the one I’d become a mummy. With the arrival of Bubs in May our world was turned upside down and I can safely say life hasn’t been and never will be the same again; I think I’ve learned more in the last 8 months than I did in the previous 8 years and I have to say I feel proud of my achievements as a first time parent, even if the road wasn’t always smooth. It might sound strange because of all the joy we have experienced but I also feel a bit sad looking back on 2008, because time has gone by so quickly and I will never get those precious weeks and months to live again, much as I would like to.
As 2009 gets underway, I’m also wondering what is in store for us and I suppose the sadness I have just mentioned is responsible for my thoughts turning to baby number two – yes folks, my caesarean scar still itches but I’m broody again already! Any ideas of increasing our family are somewhat tempered, however, by the knowledge that second time around I won’t be able to indulge myself in pregnancy – with a job to hold down and Bubs to look after there will be no lazy lie ins, long soaks in the tub and getting the Hubber to wait on me hand and foot! I also feel I owe it to Bubs not to rush into anything – he deserves my undivided attention for as long as I can manage to hold out and I also feel there are lots of things we can do as a family of three that won’t be so handy when there are four. That said, I can’t help feeling jealous of pregnant friends (you know who you are!) not to mention surprised at the power of my maternal ‘hard wiring’ – as with most things, Mother Nature’s ideas are often very different to your own!
In the meantime, though, I’ve got a job to go back to and in between getting Bubs settled with the childminder and getting my brain back to firing on all (well, most) cylinders, I’m sure I’ll have enough on my plate for the next few months. After that we’ll have Bubs’ first birthday and that’s not even mentioning the house we are supposed to be building and those little surprises life throws in for good measure. Looks like 2009 could be another busy year!