greetings from the planet mum…

Well it’s been a staggering 14 weeks since I landed on planet motherhood and I thought it was long past time I started recording some of the many thoughts that float around in my head on a daily basis now that I’ve got nothing more pressing than nap schedules, poo and feeding to think about. They say time flies when you’re having fun but I’ve discovered that it also flies when you’re learning how to do the scariest, most demanding, emotionally draining and yet rewarding thing in the whole world – being a first time mum! I keep saying this to people but the only thing I can compare it to is landing on another planet where you don’t speak the language and you don’t know anybody; I’ve certainly felt my fair share of fear and isolation over the past three months. It’s ironic that having a baby is one thing you prepare like mad for – buying things, painting the nursery, going to the antenatal classes – but it’s also the one thing you absolutely cannot prepare for. Nobody can tell you what it feels like to be entirely responsible for this tiny perfect, helpless new life and at the same time not have a baldy clue what you’re supposed to do about it. The amount of times me and DH have turned to each other and said ‘what do we do now?’…There are loads of things I wish somebody had told me before Bubs was born – like the mixture of tiredness, post birth trauma and hormones can mean that you spend the first few weeks feeling like you’re in a giant washing machine being swirled around and around with no idea when your next gulp of air will be or even if you’ll survive at all, or that it might take longer than a minute, a day or even a week to fall hopelessly, helplessly in love with this brand new human being – but that it WILL happen. So I’ve decided to start recording my journey in the arrogant hope that maybe reading this will reassure another mum like me, or even just make her laugh when what she really feels like doing is quite the opposite.
So this is where we’re at, 14 weeks in. Bubs is starting to be much more than just a bundle of baby; he has a cheeky personality, an even cheekier smile and is just beginning to laugh at us when we do silly things to try and amuse him. He loves chewing on his fists and kicking under his play gym, and is very nosy, often turning away from his feed to get a look at the telly or investigate a loud noise. He sleeps more consistently in the day than at night but is charming 24/7 – his wee smile makes me melt even at 4am and the soft warm weight of him when I pick him up from his cot takes my breath away every time. I am just getting used to the idea that no matter how big he gets I will always be his mummy and that is both scary and comforting at the same time. The world seems a very different place now that he is in it!